You have probably heard a lot of horror stories about employer-helper relationships going wrong.
Ask around and you’ll hear things like “she ran away”, “cannot take instructions”, “attitude problem”, or “just bad luck”.
And honestly, luck does play a part.
But is there anything we can actually do to improve our luck?
So I sat down with Mr Roland Low, the boss of 123 Easy...
and asked him for the magic formula to make the employer-helper relationship work.
A Good Helper Only Exist When...
Roland started his wisdom with a quote from an aunty...
“A good helper only exists when there is a good employer. It always takes two hands to clap.”
He shared about an employer who complained that her helper was “lazy” and “slow”.
But when asked further, it turned out the helper was multi-tasking housework, cooking, and taking care of two kids with no clear schedule.
Every day the tasks changed. Anyone would struggle.
Once the employer sat down and agreed on a simple daily routine, things improved almost immediately.
Expectations vs Reality Is Where Problems Start
Another common issue Roland sees is expectation mismatch.
One employer lamented that her new helper does not cook as well as her previous helper, who had worked in Singapore for 10 years.
The new helper was new to Singapore, and had never cooked Chinese food before.
The employer didn’t say anything at first.
She just felt disappointed every day.
After two months, the volcano built up until she wanted to change helper.
Roland said this happens a lot.
The taste of food is really subjective, it differs from countries as well as families.
Employers assume certain skills without confirming.
Helpers assume they are doing “good enough” because no one corrected them early.
Setting expectations clearly at the start...
giving a period for localization & conditioning and penning a brief tasklist...
could a lot of emotional blowups later.
Most Conflicts Are Really Communication Problems
Another example Roland shared was about instructions.
An employer told her helper to “clean the toilet properly”.
The helper scrubbed the bowl but didn’t clean behind the toilet or the floor drain.
The employer got upset and thought the helper was careless.
But from the helper’s point of view, she did exactly what she understood.
Roland said employers who take a few extra minutes to demonstrate once, or explain step by step, and verify...
save themselves months of frustration.
Small misunderstandings, when left alone, quietly turn into resentment.
Attitude Beats Skill in the Long Run
Roland also mentioned that some of the best long-term helpers weren’t the most skilled at the start.
One helper he worked with couldn’t cook well and was slow with housework.
But she was open to feedback, asked questions, and tried her best.
The employer corrected her patiently.
Six months later, the employer refused to change helper even when offered a more experienced one.
On the flip side, he has seen “experienced” helpers who refused to adjust to the household’s way of doing things.
Skill alone didn’t save those placements.
Trust Can Break Faster Than You Think
Trust is another big one.
Roland shared a case where an employer constantly checked CCTV and questioned the helper over small things.
The helper felt watched and stressed all the time.
Eventually, she shut down emotionally and stopped communicating.
Once trust is gone, even small mistakes feel intentional.
That’s when relationships spiral quickly.
Trust doesn’t mean being careless.
It means being fair, consistent, and addressing issues directly instead of assuming the worst.
Hire Your Next Maids from 123 Easy!
We hope these tips have come in handy for you.
If you are planning to get your next maid, consider dropping by to Katong Shopping Mall.
You can look for Roland at his agency on the 1st floor, 123 Easy.
He’s the smiling face at 123 Easy and still very hands on after all these years.
The last time I spoke to him, he was literally teaching a Mandarin class to his helpers.
For him, placement is just the beginning. What happens after is what really matters.
Also, take the chance to ask him your toughest maid questions. He’ll oblige. 😊
Introducing: Translator Device from 123 Easy
As a maid employer myself, I know how frustrating Google Translate can be.
Typing everything out, passing the phone back and forth, and still ending up with weird translations.
It works, but honestly, it’s a pain, especially when you just want to explain something quickly.
You can try the voice translator from 123 Easy instead.
They offer a free 2 month loan.
Give it a try and see if it makes day to day communication a lot easier.
