Every employer has a mental list of things they're not sure they're allowed to say. Can I ask her to work on Sunday? What if she wants to stay out all night? What do I do about the boyfriend situation? Here's the honest breakdown, what MOM says, what's your call, and how to handle the grey areas.
Do you have to give her every Sunday off?
No, but you do have to give her at least one rest day per month, and since January 2023, at least one of those rest days each month cannot be compensated away with money. The law says she must actually take a day off, not just receive extra pay in lieu of it. Beyond that mandatory one, rest day arrangements are negotiable and should be documented in writing.
Can she stay out overnight on her day off? Should you allow it?
MOM doesn't prohibit overnight stays during rest days, and your helper is an adult with a private life. Whether you're comfortable with overnight stays is a personal household decision, not a legal one. If it matters to you, address it directly and early, preferably before she starts. "Our house rule is that you're back by midnight on your rest day" is a completely reasonable boundary to set, as long as you're setting it consistently and respectfully.
What do you do if she gets pregnant?
MOM's rules are clear: a helper who becomes pregnant while working in Singapore must be repatriated home. She cannot give birth in Singapore, and her work permit will not be renewed. As her employer, you're required to notify MOM promptly and arrange her departure. Handling it with empathy and dignity reflects well on you and is simply the right thing to do.
On the question of boyfriends: your helper is an adult and MOM does not prohibit personal relationships. You can set reasonable household expectations, no visitors in your home without permission, for example, but attempting to restrict her personal life outside of your home is not within your rights as an employer.
How do you set clear rules without being seen as harsh?
The key is context and tone, not content. Most helpers respond well to rules that are explained rather than just declared. Commit your house rules to writing in the first week. Present them as how your household works rather than a list of restrictions. And stick to your own rules. The most common source of resentment in helper-employer relationships isn't strict rules, it's rules that only apply in one direction.
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