- Your helper is entitled to 1 rest day a week (MOM).
- At least 1 rest day a month cannot be compensated away with money.
- Rest day worked by agreement = at least 1 day's salary (monthly salary ÷ 26).
- Salary must be paid within 7 days after the end of each salary period.
- Bonuses and ang bao are optional; agree them upfront to avoid hurt feelings.
- CDE runs a 24-hour helpline: 1800 2255 233 for employers and helpers.
Friends,
She lives under your roof.
She knows how you like your kopi and which child hides vegetables under the rice.
Yet she is your employee, with a contract, a salary and a work permit.
That middle ground feels awkward for almost every employer... and most of the friction (plus most of the warmth) lives right there.
Here is how to handle it well.
How do I treat my maid fairly without being taken advantage of?
Most helpers want a household with basic respect, clear expectations and the chance to do the job well.
Fairness is the foundation that makes the relationship work.
Start with what the law already asks of you:
Am I too strict or too lenient with my helper?
Usually the fix is clearer expectations.
Many "she's taking advantage of me" stories turn out to be "I never said what I wanted, and now I'm upset she didn't read my mind." (Guilty, anyone?)
Try this:
What should my helper call me, and what should I call her?
- Some Filipino helpers call their employer "Sister" as a sign of warmth and respect.
- If you prefer "Ma'am", "Sir" or your first name, say so kindly at the start, then stay consistent.
- Return the courtesy: address her by her own first name, said respectfully. Avoid nicknames she did not pick.
Should my maid eat with us, get bonuses or time off for emergencies?
Swipe left or right to see the full table on mobile.
| Question | Required by law? | What works in practice |
|---|---|---|
| Eating together | No | Both choices are fine. What matters is enough food at proper mealtimes, and that she knows the arrangement. |
| Bonus or ang bao | No | Common and appreciated, e.g. at Chinese New Year or contract completion. Small amount, big goodwill. |
| Emergency home leave | Check your contract | How you respond to a family crisis shapes her trust in you for the rest of the contract. |
| Working on rest day | Yes, rules apply | Only by mutual agreement, paid at least monthly salary ÷ 26 per day, and never all of them. MOM FAQ |
Rest day and salary rules from MOM's employer guides, checked October 2026.
What do I do if my helper is homesick or depressed?
- Notice and ask. A simple "are you okay?" goes a long way.
- Protect her rest days and let her call home without feeling watched.
- Point her to support if she seems seriously unwell.
How do families keep a good relationship with their maid day to day?
- Set expectations upfront and change them only after a conversation.
- Give credit when it is due. "Thank you" costs nothing.
- Treat her day off as fully hers: no "just quickly" chores before she leaves.
- Keep warmth and structure together. You can genuinely care about her and still run a clear employer-employee arrangement.
- When something goes wrong, talk privately and calmly. If you are stuck, CDE offers mediation.
She lives under your roof.
The more honestly you inhabit that middle ground, the less awkward it gets.
P.S. If your list of house rules is longer than your helper's employment contract... maybe read it back one more time.
Whatever. Towels can be folded more than one way.
