Why Does My Maid Call Me Sister Instead of Mam?

When Karen's new helper, Maria, arrived from the Philippines, Karen was surprised to hear Maria addressing her as "Sister" instead of "Mam." Perplexed and a bit uncomfortable, Karen wondered how to tackle this unexpected title mix-up…

Understanding Cultural Differences

First, it's essential to recognize that the way people address each other can vary significantly across cultures. In some countries, it's common for helpers to use familial titles like "Sister," "Auntie," or "Uncle" when referring to their employers. This practice may stem from a desire to create a warm, familial bond or show respect in their own way.

However, in Singapore, most maid employers prefer a more formal approach, with titles like "Mam," "Sir," or even their first names. This preference helps maintain a clear employer-employee relationship and prevents blurred lines down the road.

Why Titles Matter

Some people might be wondering, "What's the big deal? It's just a title!" But the way your helper addresses you can have a significant impact on the power dynamics and boundaries within your household. Here's why:

1. Establishing Authority: Using formal titles like "Mam" or "Sir" reinforces your role as the employer and decision-maker in the household.

2. Maintaining Professionalism: Keeping things formal helps prevent overfamiliarity, which can lead to awkward situations or misunderstandings.

3. Setting Expectations: Clear titles set the tone for the kind of relationship you want to have with your helper – one of mutual respect and professionalism.

How to Address the "Sister" Situation

If your helper is calling you "Sister" instead of your preferred title, it's crucial to address the issue promptly and kindly. Here's how:

1. Have a Conversation: Sit down with your helper and explain that while you appreciate the warmth behind the "Sister" title, you prefer to be addressed as "Mam" or your first name.

2. Be Clear and Consistent: Provide specific examples of how you'd like to be addressed, and gently correct your helper when they slip up. Consistency is key!

3. Involve Your Agency: If you're unsure how to approach the conversation, don't hesitate to reach out to your maid agency for guidance. They can help communicate your preferences to your helper.

4. Lead by Example: Make sure you're also using the appropriate titles when addressing your helper. If you expect to be called "Mam," it's only fair to reciprocate with a respectful "Aunty" or your helper's first name.

Finding Your Perfect Match

If you're in the process of hiring a new helper and want to ensure a smooth start to your working relationship, consider using Searchmaid – Singapore's leading online platform for connecting maid employers with experienced and reliable helpers.

With a comprehensive database of maids from top agencies across the country, Searchmaid makes it easy to find a helper who aligns with your household's values and preferences. Start your search today and take the first step towards a harmonious home!

Remember, while titles may seem like a small detail, they can have a big impact on the dynamics within your household. By setting clear expectations and communicating openly with your helper, you can foster a respectful and professional relationship that benefits everyone involved. So go ahead, embrace your inner "Mam" or "Sir," and enjoy a happy, well-functioning home!